Has it really been a year?
For those of you who are picking up on this, I broke my ankle while roller skating at a rink with friends—it was our last time around the rink of course.
I’ve read my fair share of books on trauma and how the body reacts to shocks to the system, but I can safely say that there is nothing like experiencing it first-hand. There are a few facts and challenges to understand before I go on…
Both bones were broken around the ankle
It was my right leg, so I couldn’t drive for 4 months
I lived on the 3rd floor of an apartment complex with no elevator
I had one more semester of school until graduating
I had 12 clients I was seeing weekly
Many questions needed to be answered-- How would I get to and from work since my right ankle was broken and I couldn’t drive? How would I go up and down the stairs? How would I get to school and graduate? How would I shower?
I’d like to answer all these questions through the 5 areas of experiential insight that I gained through the accident:
1. Ask for help, people can respond however they choose
2. Use discomfort to ground you in the present moment
3. Our mind is embodied, not enskulled
4. Enjoy receiving help, and enjoy the process of giving when the time comes
5. Dance through archetypes to cope
1. Ask for help, people can respond however they choose
This is something that I learned a long time ago about expressing your needs. Through any difficult scenario, our job is to communicate feelings, thoughts, and needs. The person we’re talking with has the ability and the maturity to respond in their own way. Easy as that.
I needed to get to work. I needed to get to school.
I sent out a massive Facebook post to try and get a schedule of friends to drive me to or from work, school, and physical therapy. People stepped up, and I ended up only spending about $150 on ride apps over those 4 months—incredible.
Once I announced I needed help, friends began cooking for me, helping me get groceries, helping with transportation, and even taking me to the movies. The amount of support was phenomenal and I won’t ever forget those that helped me out.
2. Use Discomfort to Ground you in the Present
When you hit a low, you get to a place where the acceptance of defeat engulfs you. In this place, it seems all is lost and nothing can be done. "There are too many medical bills, this seems impossible to overcome, etc" Once this place is accepted, what we are able to do is say—okay and now what?
I found myself constantly surprised at the amount of love and compassion that was thrown my way. When I least expected it, people would be looking out for me. I felt fully alive and constantly excited and surprised at the vitality of our community.
3. Our Mind is Embodied, not Enskulled
Daniel Siegel speaks about Mindsight and the power that our body has to heal beyond our cognitive abilities in our brain. I could go into it here but he says it best here...
4. Enjoy Receiving Help, & Enjoy the Process of Giving
My good friend, a Yoga Therapist name Kim Schaefer, had an accident 6 months prior to mine. Upon asking what advice she could give me, she said to enjoy it. We are rarely in the scenario of needing help, owning it, and allowing ourselves to receive it. This experience alone allowed me to own my difficulties and find acceptance in vulnerability.
Enjoying the experience allowing myself to let go and ride the wave of recovery allowed myself to eventually be a willing candidate to then provide transportation and rides to friends in need later on. This process allowed for the opportunity to connect to the entire circle of the human experience-- the yin/yang, push and pull of the process of helping others.
5. Dance Through Archetypes to Cope
I talk about archetypes a lot, because they're really important. When we embody a type of being or behavior, we evoke emotions from others. When we try and be tough, we try and make people afraid. When we try to be serious, people tend to treat us like adults.
I decided that the only way for me to cope was to be the archetype of The Jester.
This archetype evoked emotions of humor, community and the opening for friendship. I couldn't be alone, and I needed help and support. What better way than to embody that of a person who treats it lightly?
Although this was the archetype that I chose, I found that it conflicted with those who operated under The Ruler archetype, or an archetype that wanted to be taken seriously. This was merely my coping embodiment.
So there you have it!
It is one year to the day. I'm still sitting down in a chair with two metal rods in my leg, but I went swimming this morning. Later today i'll jog and I just may go to the gym to hit up the bike machine and make it a personal DIY triathlon. This has been a long post, but the truth is-- I needed to do it for me. Cheers to all you young beautiful ankles out there. Thank you to all those who helped me in those months, and here's to many more years of walking, skipping and jumping!